Hello Internet :(
This is going to be a depressing post so please go away if you are not interested thank you.

Happy New Year's Eve everybody. 2013 is coming to an end and it truly has been a wonderful year. But sadly I have faced some sad situations that got me down in the dumps. Some of you or maybe none of you may know that I'm quite a crybaby. I cry easily to the littlest things, things that make me happy and things that make me sad. For a long time now, today I've cried my heart out on the last day of 2013.

Last year's new year's eve, I cried because I've never seen or got to see the fireworks. This year I finally could but y'know what? Sh*t happens.

I actually thought that 2014 will be the year that everything will fall into place. Being in the same class with my friends, studying the subject I wanted and have a fun life. My oh-so-strict mom finally let me not take Chinese. What happened is that I didn't get accepted in the class I wanted even though I had great results. Just because I had one little D ruined my chances of going to the class. One little D made the principal lowered me below the people who got less A's than me. THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS. ABSOLUTELY NONSENSE I TELL YOU.

The only thing I have now is Hope. My mom sent in my D to get rechecked. And maybe some students from the Science class would drop out and it'll get me in. But if that doesn't happen, I may have to transfer schools. My friends are all up in mountains when I'm drowning in my lake of tears. The way they keep talking about it happily despises me. I didn't mean to but I can't control it. I'm really depress. What I'm focusing on right now is just two things:

Hello Internet! :)
We had a prom on THE LAST FRIDAY NIGHT OF 2013 literally. Thumbs up to the seniors who thought of this brilliant idea (Y). I was preparing at home, but out of the blue, rain. Seriously? Luckily my dad was home to fetch me to Shyne-Ni's in the rain. I was ready to go out when I got criticized by my little brother for wearing sneakers to prom. Says the boy who wears almost the same shirt everyday. When I arrived, Samantha & Shyne-Ni were putting on makeup.

"Did you do anything Juniper? Hair? Makeup?", Samantha asked.
"None." I replied.
"Ohh dear! Here! Let me help you! What do you want to put on? Eyeliner? Mascara?" said Shyne-Ni.
"I don't know anything about makeup.. Just put anything on me that makes me look beautiful." I said.

I live in a family where I'm the only daughter in the house and has a mom who doesn't try to teach or make her daughter look feminine. You can say I'm quite a tomboy who plays video games and stones at home all day. Thanks to the girls, makeup was applied and they said that I look gorgeous. Here we go to prom! It was hilarious when Shyne-Ni's mom kept insisting her to put on more lipstick to make her lips look red so that people could notice. We arrived and all the girls were wearing HIGH HEELS and looked so hot compared to me. I was hoping to see people in sneakers but it didn't happen. We ran to the toilet to hide from the crowd. We mustered up some courage and walked out. But we did it for like three times. Everyone looked super stunning! Carmen came and we talked about if should we go back home or hide in the toilet for the whole prom. We managed to walk into the hall like a boss. I finally met Foong for the first time, it was a funny introduction indeed.

Me & the girls were looking for a table to sit. We stumbled upon our same age friends but there wasn't any place and I felt like we weren't exactly welcomed to the A-B class group so we left and found another table near the stage. We are the wallflowers after all. The first act was "A Thousand Years" performed by the band. They're amazing:). No one dared to go on the dance floor same as us. Me & Shyne-Ni tried hard to support them by singing the songs loudly. We ate delicious pasta and meat but the thing that annoyed me was when that certain person came to "hang out" with Samantha. He couldn't even be nice to her friends. I was seriously offended. Sorry that I can't get myself to like you, you gave me a bad first impression. Thank God Samantha's isn't just pretty but smart to not fall for that guy's charms. He disgusts me I'm sorry. Apart from that, I loved the whole party. I danced like no tomorrow! My moves were pretty cool ahaha but most of the time we were just jumping like kangaroos. Half of the songs I recommended were played. Especially the slowdance songs. The more I listen to it, the more sadder I get. I wish I had a boyfriend to dance to the song "Can I have this dance" by High School Musical. I'd sing to him:

Take my hand, take a breath,
Pull me close and take one step,
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

I kept looking at him whilst listening to the song:
It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you,
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do,
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better,
So can I have this dance, Can I have this dance?

Hoping he'd come to me and ask: "Can I have this dance with you?" I was fantasizing and thought to myself "I hope he comes but I don't think he will but I really hope so." In the end he didn't. Aww wells~ I hope fate will let us meet each other again. At least I got to dance with some boys. I was even forced to dance with that certain person that I don't like and gotten taken photos of. Ughh burn them with fire! "Everything has changed" by Ed Sheeran & Taylor Swift came on. That's when I started, I really want a boyfriend to fulfill my romance wishes right now. Samantha slowdanced with four boys that night, that's how popular she is. Me & Shyne-Ni hang out backstage where it was quiet. It was a good friendship moment. I couldn't say this was my perfect prom but it was fun. I regretted not taking photos with people there when I said I would. I'm gonna miss all of the Form 5's. They really made prom awesome.

I got a prize from prom too! Turns out it was a notebook. Thanks. I liked it but not entirely. I ask for too much. But really I'm thankful. Congratulations to prom king, Foong & queen, May Jean. Prom really got me tired when I went home. I felt like I danced too much that I can almost pass out. It was wonderful :)

PHOTO SESSION:

I like this photo the best

My girlfriends ♥

Prom Queen: May Jean Isn't she lovely?

With the handsome prom king (Wish my hair wasn't messy at the time)

The wallflower project. (Samantha needs to improve with her camera skills ahaha)

I was hoping to feel like Emma Watson at prom but when I saw the picture. Mehh close enough. Mkay bye:)
// I wanna wear prettier for the next prom.

Hello Internet! :)
Sorry for the delay. I was procrastinating AGAIN. I wanted to write this on Thursday but y'know what happened *whispers* procrastinationnn

On Thursday, I got what everyone was working hard for, the purpose for studying this year, PMR results yayyy *sarcastic cheer*. It was disappointing when they specifically said they'd announced the results at 10 am but instead they changed it to 11 am because they haven't arranged their files yet. They made me waste one hour at school but it was nice to see friends again after such a long time. Due to my contagious awkwardness, it didn't turn out what I pictured, in my head was like:



News is I got 6A's. Yes I know that the result isn't bad but I can't help to feel like everyone isn't proud of my achievement here. First off my mom was at work so she told me to tell her my results as soon as I get them. And what I got is: "6A's? So are you happy?" What a mood breaker. One by one, aunties, uncles calling and asking: "How many A's did Jing Lin get?". I got frustrated, and once again I rant in all on Twitter. Twitter is my best friend. Comfort letters came in, looks like I wasn't the only one. They're sweet people. My mom saw my sad face and started saying: "You tried your best, you got better than during the trials! I'm happy for you." A small smile appeared on my face. Even one little sweet word gets me happy. Thanks mom <3

And also! I helped Samantha to create a blog! You should check her out. She writes like a little cute 6-year-old. http://samxanchor.blogspot.com/

By the way, Christmas is coming but I'm having weird-ass emotional problems. i don't know why. I should probably throw away all these insecure feelings and celebrate Christmas! Hooray! And thank you to Samantha for giving me an early Christmas present, She's so lovable and thoughtful. She's like our Santa Claus hahaha wonderful.

That's all I have to say. Have a great Christmas and I can't wait for Prom!
Mkay bye:)



// Should I be a Youtuber? I'd be a solo though. But it'd be pretty cool.

Hello Internet! :)
So what's everybody up to? Partying? Traveling? Hanging out? Or like me sitting in front of the computer blogging while listening to Maroon 5?

OKAY CONFESSION TIME.
I'm living a lifeless life like literally. I am so bored. At the start of the holidays, I was already describing how life was after PMR to my mom. Obviously it was a free life but what to do in this free life? I felt like my life had no purpose anymore. Planned a lot but not doing them. What a waste of a nice holiday. I was really hoping for someone to plan an awesome outing.

By the way, I bought a dress (WHAT?). I hardly buy dresses but it's for prom so yeah. Prom dress, done in my checklist. I'm gonna wear it with my converse cause I don't exactly wear heels. Hope to look beautiful on the day and maybe a dance too? That'd be nice. Let's spend the last Friday night of 2013 like no tomorrow! And also, PMR results are announced this Thursday. Oh snap. I'm terrified, nervous and at the same time excited. I pray to God that I'll pass my results with flying colours and that my hard work paid off. Fingers crossed. One more thing, me and the family went for a buffet dinner at Swiss Gardens. I just wanted to say how hilarious it was when my cousin dropped her cupcake "beautifully".

Did you hear? That Egypt snowed? Is this suppose to be a miracle or a disaster?
It would be amazing if Malaysia snowed! My sweaters and jackets can finally be in use. We could make snow angels and snow mans. Wear ear muffs and beanies. Watch my first snow with my beloved friends. Roast marshmallows and make s'mores. Snuggle indoors and drink hot cocoa. I can already imagine it.

Mkay bye:)
P.S This update was totally random
// Bread is the most delicious thing in the world.

Hello Internet! :)
I'm usually not like this but I think I'm getting sober day by day. I'm a so called happy-go-lucky person. I don't know what happened to me. I thought it would go back to normal but instead it's gradually getting worse. I feel like this right now:



I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.
Last time I didn't liked those hipster music like Lana Del Rey, Birdy, Last Dinosaurs & The xx, but now I find them as good music. what is wrong with me. Do you know the term "Sad is happy for deep people"? I think I'm starting to get the meaning. someone help me. Right now I am stuck in a vortex of confusion with two portals beside me that says "You" and "Another side of you you didn't know". I also realized that I'm kind of giving up on life. I gave up on making friends. I'm not special to anyone. I'm just ordinary. It's better to be alone. She's too good for me. She doesn't even care. Why should I?

People would ask: Hey why don't we invite her?
Me: Okay.
But actually on the inside,
Me: Why should we? She has her own friends she should hang with them.
I know I'm horrible.

The Hipster inside me is awakening. I'm starting to hate everybody when I'm in a bad mood. I hate looking at other people's "perfect" lives and yet they call it horrible. People would probably hate me for saying this but once I start hating everybody, above all their heads would pop out one word about their flaws like: Jealousy, Selfish, Arrogant, Show-off, Drama queen etc. I'm sorry I'm out of control of my brain. I think I'm craving for a "perfect happy" life that other people have. I'm always wearing a mask, a fake smile, but in my heart, i'm crying, i'm burning with fury, i'm miserable.

I hate that you're:
Perfect
Tricking me with your sweet words
Making me forgiving you so easily
Making me hate you
Making me not hate you
Making me wait for your replies
Treating me like everybody else
Making me ask for too much
Making me care for you too much
Making me smile so easily
Everything I need

Mkay bye:(
// Save me from this misery.

Hello Internet! :)
I feel so wonderful today. Why you ask? Cause today's date is so beautiful it makes my mood happy for some reason. By the way, I got a touching reply for my last post from my dear friend Shyne-Ni! (http://tissueshoulder.blogspot.com). I'm glad you liked my message and thanks for the pretty drawing, I liked the chicken haha. 

Recently I came back from my granny's place at Kedah. 6 hour drive from here oh my god. My trip to Bangkok was cancelled due to the election but I still managed to go to Hatyai, Thailand. Since Thailand is just above Kedah, it was no problem at all. Here are the few things I got from the trip:

Epop's 2014 Calender

I got this at one of Kedah's markets. Even though the book was Malay version, the calender really caught my eye and I know I will NEVER EVER buy the book at Selangor cause the only place available to buy it is in book shops. So I bought it. I'm really satisfied with the calender! All my favourite kpop stars are in there. All handsome and beautiful. I'll be seeing their faces every month.

Grandmother's self-made bag

My granny's really talented with these self-made stuff. She can make the pattern out of any candy wrapper or packets. My mom brought some home to sell. If you want one, come and find me :)

Black converse shoes

Here's the highlight. I've been waiting for two freaking years to get these shoes and I finally got them from Hatyai. They're so pretty I love them so much. Can I collect them all? We were at Hatyai with my aunt and cousins. Once I bought them, my cousins one by one started to buy it too! Mwahaha I told you they're not just ordinary sneakers mom! I'm gonna wear them frequently now!

That's all I have to say. Have a happy holiday! Happy 11/12/13.
Mkay bye:)

// I want to go for outing so I can wear those converse shoes. Anyone?

Happy Happy Birthday to my beloved friend, Shyne-Ni.

Hello Internet ! :)
Yup it's me again. Yello ! I was winter-cleaning my computer, deleting old files and photos. I so happened to stumble upon some really beautiful memories and I want to share it with everyone. It's not much cause I wasn't a photogenic person until I got an Instagram but I don't want to keep them in this computer. Might as well put them here and I can check back whenever I want. Let's start shall we?

2010:
Our Form 1 years when we were still freshman. We were all cutesy. We swam at the club and it was so much fun ! I still remember how scared Samantha was when we went to the deep pool, she's hydrophobic. Actually I did plan to go with Samantha to teach her swimming but thanks to my family and their sudden plans we couldn't go :(
* Shyne-Ni with her master skills at camwhoring *

2011:
Life in 2C was one of my best years in high school. I actually felt like I belong somewhere. It was the first time we ever had that "boys & girls in one whole group" feel. Our class was famous for its naughtiness and randomness. The whole class will sing randomly when a person sings a sentence from a song haha! We also had our song "情人", it's lover in English. Even the teachers sing it LOL. The 4 chinese girls, Me, Mun, Karen & PeiWen also sang korean songs in the class. We'll make up our own games and play as a group with the boys. I wish I could go back to those times. We even went for an outing. PeiWen doesn't really go for outings cause she doesn't want to take selcas with us :((. Me & Karen are besties but now I think my relationship with Mun is a little distant but I still love her as my dongsaeng<3 I miss her lots :*



I was so "wow"-ed at the fact we get to dress pretty for the event and eventually I attended it for the first time. I do regret that my dress wasn't pretty but I wasn't girly at the time. I had my first ever polaroid picture with Yong Ni ! The performances were amazing but I never got to take pictures with anyone cause my phone was fugly :(. That picture with Mun with Sylvester is so cute I just had to keep it. I hope they're relationship stays. STOP THE HATIN' AND START THE LOVIN' YOU GUYS!

2013:
The tuition life. This is one of my favourite pictures cause I look good in it (LOL). I've tuition there for almost all my life. Pei Wen and Shi Kei leveled up the fun meter at the tuition center. With the other girls too, we always gossip about others and talk about our problems. We even rebelled the teacher. We couldn't stand when the teacher gossips lies about all of us to everyone and so we all changed to a different tuition center (hooray). It was such a drama. It was my first time at a different tuition center and now I love it there. They're still with me of course ! But I'm still always the quiet girl at the side cause I'm awkward. I'll enjoy life there till I graduate.





I was lucky enough to convince some gal pals to come with me to Cameron! This memory is really the sweetest. All 13 girls together sleeping in a dorm and hanging out. The first day was really awkward until the afternoon we decided to have some girl talk. And we talked for like maybe one or two hours. The second day we decided to do it again cause of how fun it was but turns out we have nothing to talk about (LOL). Few minutes later, we started to chat and play games till two in the morning. Lots of pictures ! Took pictures with the seniors too. It was so so fun! I hope we'll do this again next year :>
That's all the sweet photos I have on my computer. I really enjoyed my three years with all of them and I hope our friendship will last forever.
Mkay bye:)

// I wonder what next year will be like. More awesome? I bet.

Hello Internet! :)
A month has passed, time sure flies quickly. I kinda regret that I didn't exactly spend my November well. No one planning for outings, no parties, no nothing. This is a sad case and I'm not going to do the same thing with December! :(

Instead of snowing, Malaysia is currently raining almost everyday. How I wish to see the first snow in other countries. If I were in other countries I bet I could wear my favourite sweaters every single day. Too bad so sad, like that's gonna happen.

The first day of December was already bad for me. I was supposed to be in Bangkok right now but who knew the election coincidentally was up. We were still going for it until the news reported that people threw bombs, 3 people dead and 37 injured. My hopes at the moment were like *brrang* shattered.. That trip was my shopping trip to finally buy all the things I want: my prom dress, my converse, my vans, my dream catcher, my clothes, and any other awesome stuff :____: (life is so cruel)

By the way, Christmas is coming. Even though I don't celebrate it, I just felt like Christmas is fun and I wanna celebrate it with friends. And after Christmas comes prom. Oh my gosh I am so excited but I am still in need of a pair of converse and a dress. I've been working with my dad and got paid (hooray). Looks like I'm doing online shopping.

In the middle of writing this post, I went out and played with my neighbour's cat. I got clawed. Is December not my month either? I'm not gonna believe that.
Mkay bye:)

Sweaters + shorts/ skinny jeans = Beautiful

Perfect season for gloves, earmuffs & beanies !

JYP Nation's Christmas Song

// Shyne-Ni's birthday on 10/12. Maybe doing a surprise video. Hope she doesn't see this <3

Don't you sometimes just get the feeling of hating yourself? I may not look like it cause people say I'm happy-go-lucky. To be honest, I'm more vulnerable than you expect.

It was a usual night after saying goodnight to my dear mother and brother. I went into my room drawing stuff on my adventure journal. I made it a few days ago and I'm loving it. After I ran out of ideas, washed my face, brushed my teeth and switched off the lights, I cover myself in my blankets not able to sleep and having deep thoughts.

Me: Please let me sleep..
Brain: Nahh. Let's think about all the stupid things you've done the past few years.
Me: Okay.

I thought about how I RUINED myself.
1. Eyes - Played too much games and got horrible and high eyesight that's going to be hard to heal. Hoping I won't turn blind.
2. Nose - Not letting my mom squeeze my bones when it was still soft.
3. Teeth - Afraid to go to the dentist and delayed the teeth plucking, the teeth turned out unarranged and untidy.
4. Ears - I still don't have any piercings and scared to get one cause everyone says it's better to do it when you're little.
5. Toes - Due to my hate for shopping I rather don't tell my mom that my shoes were too small for me than go for a short trip to the shoe store.

I just wish I can just get Doctor Who's time-teleporting telephone booth and go back time to tell myself all the stupid things I've done. But yeah you can't buy time with money. Partially I think it's kinda my mom's fault for not forcing me to do stuff, making me terrified of just a little bit of pain. Still mostly I'm the main blame.

Tears flew out and words came to mind: "When can I just be pretty like them?"
Mkay bye:)

// Silent night, making me think into deep thoughts, you're so cruel to make me cry.

// Planning to paint all these and put them on my wall. Wish me luck :)

Hello Internet ! :)
And yes, I've been procrastinating AGAIN. To be honest, I've wanted to write a new post sooner but all I did was clicked New Post and left the page blank. I did it for like maybe.. 5 or 6 times? Ummm :x

MOVING ON. On November 5th, me and the gang finally got to visit Karen's house. It was wonderful and pretty like my grandmother's. The first thing we did there is playing with barbies. I'm not joking, BARBIES. We started some typical but epic teen-drama starring Tiffany, Jessica and whatever the other names are. It was tons of funs and the clothes were a bit sexy ohgosh. It's just a shame that Carmen had to leave earlier </3. Karen taught me how to read music sheets again. Last time I remembered my piano grade was only grade one. I couldn't face the fact that I had to go for an exam to get to grade two. Piano music is really beautiful and I would like to try that again. We went around the neighbourhood's playground, me and Shyne-Ni were also admiring Karen's and Samantha's skinny legs *sniff*. We played with each other's hair, tying braids like little kids. And that's how the day ended.

Despicable Me with Moustaches

L.A.S.T

We're tree huggers!

By the way, the Melon Music Awards was really emotional when SHINee won the Best Artist Award. I didn't expect that SHINee would cry like that. Taemin and Minho who have steel tears cried on that day too. I'm proud to say that I'm happy to be a Shawol (SHINee's fanclub).

SO EMOTIONAL.

That's all for now. Mkay bye:)
// Mum says maybe I'm getting braces :B

"Where are you?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I totally forgotten. Just give me five minutes."
"K."
"Are you okay?".
" I'm Fine. "

I really can't work things out with you. I've always prepared early to see you, scared I'd keep you waiting. But then you didn't even came. Efforts gone to waste, my heart sinks into sorrow and disappointment. I can't believe you. Unexpectedly, I didn't throw a tantrum in front of you. I was calm and didn't even mind. I wouldn't be like that last time. Am I getting used to this? Did I change? I don't know anymore.

The way you planned things with her, it all works out. When I do it, it always fails. What does that suppose to mean? Am I not your friend? I don't know if I'm being sensitive or not, one of the things I hate most is broken promises. Don't make me any promises that you don't intend to keep. You've changed. I don't like the new you. You used to be the nice girl who helps everyone. The girl who inspires me. Now I started having hatred, the feel of betrayal. It's only you, you and you. And it looks like you've influenced everyone else. I don't know. I shouldn't really care since it won't change anything. Now I'm getting the feeling I don't belong with you. I don't feel belong anywhere. This really gets me thinking: Maybe it's best to just be alone.

// Silent Night & Silent Light

If I had a wish, I would like to meet the amazing people worldwide.

Hello November. Please be awesome !

Hi Internet :)
It's autumn, my favourite season. But I can't experience the joy of autumn cause I live in summer-all-the-time Malaysia. So far I've gotten scars and bruises, so maybe November isn't my month but I'll make it worth while.

November to-do-list:
✡ Hope the gang will start planning outings and we can finally go for movies, ice-skating, bowling, karaoke and shopping.
✡ MUST WATCH MOVIE: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire. Hope to watch it with Hunger Games fans. Oooh please wait for me Gale~
✡ Start socializing. I'll try my best to be on good terms with everyone. I'll defeat you social awkwardness.
✡ Learn the ukulele. I'm gonna spend my time with my boyfriend, Charlie. Who's that? My ukulele haha. And maybe some lessons with Shyne-Ni too.
✡ Prepare for prom. Start working out, buying dresses, and hopefully get a converse. I haven't had a converse until now. Hope to buy cheap ones at Bangkok. Vans too hehe.
✡ Buy some books to read. After all the Hunger Games and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, I need other books to read.
✡ Online shopping. I love to buy clothings from the net. Hope the sizes fit.
✡ Record music on soundcloud. I don't really know how to use it though...

Dear November, let's do this. By the way, SPM's right around the corner. I hope the seniors will do their best for the big test. Same goes for my brother even though he doesn't look really intimidated by it. And mummy, I hope your hip muscles would heal faster.

// Carmen's birthday on November and Shyne-Ni's on December. We'll give you a great birthday for sure ! Anticipate it.

Hey guys ! It really has been a while. Okay maybe a really long while.
As you can see, my last post was from last year. So I guess it's my blog's 1 year anniversary with only three posts hahaha... I'm so proud of myself. Cut the chit chat, let's start with my story.

This happened a few days ago, it was on a typical Saturday. After PMR, my mom promised me to bring me for a facial to get rid of the pimples due to the stress I got from the exam. "Oh my gosh hurray!" was what I thought. But who knew it turned out to be a disaster, I fainted at the place.

My mom was excited while I was a bit nervous for the pimple popping. I know I'm such a chicken haha. The music there was so soothing, it was already relaxing. The whole process was nice except the part where I had to wait for it to be finished. Are facials really that long? After the whole thing was done, the assistant will help check our skin and give us advises on skin care. At that moment, my stomach started hurting, my head got heavier and I felt dizzy. I couldn't even concentrate on what she was saying and bearing the pain, hoping we can go home as fast as we can. When we reached the door, I felt like dying. I told my mom: "My stomach hurts." And BOOM! Losing consciousness, I collapsed. It was dramatic like a Korean drama.

I managed to wake up from coma and all I see were four people staring at me. My mom was slapping my face calling "hey wake up!". My body felt cold and I even thought I was just dreaming. After resting, I gained my energy and went back home, slept for 2 hours without my grandma knowing or else she'll scold the hell outta my mom and me. Luckily only a few people saw me or it would've been embarrassing. I'm really thankful to my mother for staying by my side even though she keeps saying what a drag I am. Thanks mummy~

So that's the end of it. Now all of you might be wondering, what does fainting feel like? Let me summarize it for you, dizzy, drained out of energy, weak. What caused my faint? Maybe it's my pickiness for not eating greens hehehe. Don't you worry, I'm all charged up and better now.