Hello Internet! :)
I'm usually not like this but I think I'm getting sober day by day. I'm a so called happy-go-lucky person. I don't know what happened to me. I thought it would go back to normal but instead it's gradually getting worse. I feel like this right now:

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.
Last time I didn't liked those hipster music like Lana Del Rey, Birdy, Last Dinosaurs & The xx, but now I find them as good music. what is wrong with me. Do you know the term "Sad is happy for deep people"? I think I'm starting to get the meaning. someone help me. Right now I am stuck in a vortex of confusion with two portals beside me that says "You" and "Another side of you you didn't know". I also realized that I'm kind of giving up on life. I gave up on making friends. I'm not special to anyone. I'm just ordinary. It's better to be alone. She's too good for me. She doesn't even care. Why should I?

People would ask: Hey why don't we invite her?
Me: Okay.
But actually on the inside,
Me: Why should we? She has her own friends she should hang with them.
I know I'm horrible.

The Hipster inside me is awakening. I'm starting to hate everybody when I'm in a bad mood. I hate looking at other people's "perfect" lives and yet they call it horrible. People would probably hate me for saying this but once I start hating everybody, above all their heads would pop out one word about their flaws like: Jealousy, Selfish, Arrogant, Show-off, Drama queen etc. I'm sorry I'm out of control of my brain. I think I'm craving for a "perfect happy" life that other people have. I'm always wearing a mask, a fake smile, but in my heart, i'm crying, i'm burning with fury, i'm miserable.

I hate that you're:
Perfect
Tricking me with your sweet words
Making me forgiving you so easily
Making me hate you
Making me not hate you
Making me wait for your replies
Treating me like everybody else
Making me ask for too much
Making me care for you too much
Making me smile so easily
Everything I need

Mkay bye:(
// Save me from this misery.