let me reintroduce myself. hi. my name is juniper. it's actually jing lin. i got this name juniper because i find christian names cool and no one really remembered me by my chinese name. i wanted to be like ace which her name's isn't ace and she's in the same case as me. i wanted to try to make everyone remember me as juniper but i'm afraid to tell people about my name because i think people will find it pretty weird. i'm actually happy that people still call me by my chinese name because if not, i won't be connected with my inner chinese and i will bring shame and dishonour to my family. haha no it's because my family speaks chinese in the house so i need to keep intact with my chinese.

i'm seventeen this year. it's my senior year. i wanted to try to be the cool popular senior kids like the ones in my brother's year but it's harder than i expected. we liked them immediately but maybe i thought wrong for this batch of seniors. or maybe juniors are just cocky. but i don't like pleasing people who won't like me for me so i don't do pleasing. or maybe i'm cocky. no actually i'm not. i'm just really shy, awkward and i don't dare to confront people because my conversations don't flow. to be honest, sometimes i want to be the mysterious type of person that people wanna know more about but i guess i don't give off that vibe. people just catch glimpses of me.

i'm really happy to get out of this school. even though there were nice memories, the last two years of high school had left a deep scar on me. and right now i currently don't like anyone in my school. i don't hate them and i have stopped caring so i'm okay and neutral. i wish i can find someone i can relate to. my happiest year in high school was in form 2 when i actually felt belonged somewhere. i was actually in a dilemma whether i fit in there or there. and i was happy to have chosen the right choice. honestly i think i just budged in i don't think i was actually considered a 'someone' in the group. it was also the year i met and made my first friend who would actually stick to me. she was like the dan to my phil. but now we're just neutral friends. in my five years of high school, i think i didn't succeed in meeting a friend who commits to me as much i commit to them. oh well maybe college will be different. dan didn't had a best friend in 18 years of his life until he met phil on the internet. i wish that would happen to me as well. end.

xx.
// i decided to type this to remind myself of who i am. i type as if i'm talking to a stranger who knows nothing about me. so i am going to be 100% honest about all my thoughts and the dumb things i want to do in my head. i don't care, you can judge me all you want, at least i'm being honest.
// i'm going to do reintro part by part from school, physical appearance, emotional experiences, interests and other things.
// if you have any questions after reading this or realised new things about me through this, just come by and talk to me about it, i am completely happy to share more and maybe this might be more inspiration for me to learn more about myself and blog it here.
// reintro part two when i have time.