3/3/16

Today is the day I received my results from the hell-breaking examination i had in november till december last year. i studied hard and yet i tried to procrastinate and run away. i prayed hard to god the day before. i couldn't fall asleep at all so i watched a korean reality tv show. nervousness only came last night and today, where the principal starts announcing for students to go up stage.

flashbacks of PMR appeared. it was exactly like deja vu. the teachers were on stage to announce those who got straight A's. we knew we didn't have a chance, but it wouldn't hurt to hope anyway. we were holding hands, closing our eyes, hands clenched tight. today. it happened again. but this time, i got on stage for the first time. i didn't get full A's but it's an experience i never thought i could feel for free. i was worried because during the exams, i literally had no hope of improvement. i even thought i did more terrible than my trials. but what a plot twist.

i want to thank the lord for hearing my wish. i was downstairs by myself, standing in front of the altar. i held in all of my last hopes and i'm grateful for what he gave. i want to thank my amazing family for helping me all the way since form one. my dad for expenses. my mom for her help in all of my work. my older brother for his teachings and my little brother for disciplining me when i watch tv during my exams. i want to thank my teachers (the actual ones that are good), tuition teachers included. i'm sorry i didn't get an A for the subjects you taught me, that's one of the disappointments i have. i want to thank my friends for the helpful information and how we guide each other. i want to thank myself for working your butt off for this. i'll pat you in the back later.

things i'm proud of:

- i finally got my A in BM in the most important of times. the last A i got for BM was in the first test in form one. so that's one of my favourite achievements.

- i finally caught up to my competition. i'd always admire her and i decided to make her my competition for motivation. i always tried hard in hopes that one day i'll surpass her. and I did! okay not really, we got the same results but it's improvement right?

- i did better than i did most of the time in school! even better than trials. i'm deeply grateful.

my disappointments:

- how the subjects i really tried hard for, the subjects i took tuition hourly, the subjects i reread everytime, didn't get the result my teachers would be happy to hear about. i was awaiting the day i could finally tell the world that i could do it. but i guess now is not the time yet.

- i lost to my older brother again. but this time by two. it was always one apart.

- how i couldn't get straight A's so i could bring my family to disneyland (even though we went to the one in hong kong), but it's still our family motto for straight A's.

and that's the end of my appreciation post because of this hell-bent exam.

// i couldn't imagine how everything would turn out this way. it's actually hilarious.

// to those who aren't happy, i have no right to say anything tbh. but just hear me out, cheer up alright. things will turn out okay. life goes on eventually. this only lasts for the while. and it's only the first step to more things in life. i may sound like bullshit but i'm not lying either. good luck.