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    Are you, are you coming to the tree?
    Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free.

    i saw your name on my phone and i couldn't stop thinking about the time you came after me. it was the first time someone came to me seeking for my support. i'm no special someone to anybody, only the replaceable who puts her expectations too high and ends up hurting on herself. even though i knew i wasn't anything special to you, not even considered a 'close friend', not even an existence that you'd ever think about in your life, you came. someone who puts their trust in me instinctively gets mine. call me the idiot who gets happy over something so small, or the idiot who thinks so much about something people would do normally, well guess what. i'm someone who refrains from making too many close friends to avoid getting hurt, i'm not the kind of person who people will swoon over, i'm not the kind of person who has friends everywhere i go. to summarize it, i'm grateful for your trust in me when i didn't do anything worth to deserve it. i just wanted to let you know, that i was happy for that one little moment. thank you. i hope you're doing fine. please and always stay that way. xx.

    P.S. a tip of advice; instead of judging and talking behind someone's back, we should tell them their flaws so they'd fix them. so we should all stop b*tching.

    to my,
    small worth.
    Continue Reading
    Hello internet:)
    This is the sequel to my last post which I talked about the things I really hate. So now I'm gonna talk about some of the weird things I like recently. I didn't really take notice of these last time but yeah I'd figured them out sooner or later. I'll stop dilly dallying (a word i learnt from jim chapman).

    Black


    Lately, it's just been a craving. Everything I want in the shopping mall is black black black. Things currently on my shopping list: black sweater, black tee, black denim jacket, black shoes, black choker and black nail polish. I don't know ok. It's weird. I think it's tumblr's fault.

    Aztec


    A tee with aztec? Hell yeah. I don't like bright colored aztecs. A vintage-ish colour would be nice. But most cool aztec tees are at the boy's section. Oh well might as well give up being a girl anyway.

    Beanies


    I have a beanie but it's pretty saggy and honestly I don't look that good in beanies, but I don't care. I like it and i want it. It gives a autumn-ish feel and idk it's warm and nice. I can act like it's winter and drink hot cocoa.

    Knee high socks


    It's kinda awkward to wear knee high socks out in malaysia but I think they're hella cute. Girls in anime wear them and they look cute and nice. I should probably get nice legs before getting them hmm.

    Shirts with the little side pocket


    A day when you don't want to be flashy and not to plain? A tee with a little side pocket is your game. At first I was pretty shocked how popular a shirt with a pocket could get. Then I realised that it's actually pretty rad. I'm looking for a white, maroon and black tee with the same coloured pocket. And yes, a wee bit loose thanks.

    the little things i enjoy doing;
    Washing my hair


    One thing about a girl's hair is that it sucks after few days of not washing it. It gets uncomfortable and sticky and ughh. Washing my hair feels like I have really thin hair. It gets breezy and idk I can feel the air more lol. And plus mom always compliment how shiny my hair is after a bath (thanks mom).

    Organizing things


    I have this if-i-start-organizing-something-i-freaking-organize-everything fetish. It's like "eh might as well". I find the joy in organizing things like categorizing and anticipating how it'll look like after it's over (wonderful). Especially my closet that's always a mess. It's so fun that I can pick out how I'll wear my clothes whilst organizing them.

    Long showers


    Even any of you know me, I love showers. REALLY LONG SHOWERS. I think I can stay in the bath for an hour. Everything's calm and quiet. The only things I can hear are the sound of water dripping out of the shower head and the squeaky floor. And goddamn I sure as hell perform in the shower. Singing without a care and dancing which leads to tripping (most of the time), good stress relieving. One thing that makes my showers long is my thoughts. My shower room is my favourite thinking spot. Like the time I planned out how I'll talk to a person, how I'm going to solve a problem, me and the shower room have a connection.

    Listening to soft music


    Can you recognise them? It's the neighbourhood silly. I've been pretty hooked up with them lately. Did my research, Jesse's cool and Zach's a cutie. Besides them, I've been listening to lorde, the xx and ed sheeran. The xx relieves the anger in my head, lorde makes me realise I don't have to impress anyone and ed sheeran makes me get weird lovely dreams with cute guys (ed himself especially haha). Lots of love to them please.

    Lying on the cold floor


    I just had to use a picture of dan. When I lose all sense of hopelessness, the cold floor is my life saver. My body heats up from all the stress, fatigue and thoughts that bug me so much that I can't take it. And one plop to the floor could make me relax. Weird am I right? And plus my floor's clean and smooth, I have my friends as eye witnesses. They even slide their butts and played ice-skating on my floor.

    Taking pictures of books


    As I said before, I put in a lot of respect for amazing books. Idk. Taking a picture of them feels like a memory like "oh i read that. that book was really good". I like sharing my library. And if you could, share yours as well, I would love to read them. Did I say I like to collect books too? (aka buying them, wasting my money when i can borrow it from a friend)

    Connecting with anime


    It's been a long time since I went back to anime. Anime is kinda my whole life. And I really can't find any reasons to hate anime except maybe you guys don't like to watch japanese animations or some artists like to draw big boobs for idk male viewers? Anyways it's my taste I'm not gonna judge. I'm glad I met a few people who actually like them (they exist!) and since it's anime, I can talk to them non-stop (good way to make a new friend I'd say). I don't have a close friend yet tho. I wish to meet him/her soon.

    Tumblr girl wannabe


    Who doesn't want to be a tumblr girl? Tumblr is what almost every single teenage girl wants to be now. The things that make me a failure to be a tumblr girl is 1. i don't wear anything fashionable yet, 2. i don't have them HD cameras and 3. i don't have a photographer to take pictures of me (lol). I always wanted people to take pictures of me but it always ended up as they aren't good photographers or i'm too shy to ask them to take a picture of me. But one thing's for sure is i'm a really good photographer (just saying).

    mkay bye xx.
    // i feeling extra hyper so i might sound like a crazy britain or a white girl.
    // honestly if you know where to buy plain white shirts give me a call.
    // taylor swift's black space is really good even though it's another heart break song.
    // i've been working out. i wish results would come faster than expected *sigh*
    Continue Reading

    when i'm wriggling with my fingers and clenching my teeth, it means i'm excited.

    when i surprise you from behind, it means i want you to always remember me.

    when i say mean things to you jokingly, it means you're one of my closest friends.

    when i sarcastically laugh. it means teasing you is fun.

    when i draw. it means i'm inspired.

    when i hum, it means that it's too quiet and i need some music.

    when i sniff my hair. it means my hair smells mighty fine (i like shampoo)

    when i put a pen near my mouth, it means i'm thinking deeply and it may be a good chance for anyone to scare me (but i'll get angry because i don't like getting disturbed while i'm thinking)

    when i'm lying on my desk, it means i want to sleep but i can't so i'm mostly thinking.

    when i'm looking up, i'm usually going to take a deep breath either happily or sadly.

    when i'm looking down, it means i'm thinking.

    when i look into the sunlight, it means i want so show off my brown eyes (so narcissistic i know)

    when i talk with an "oh" first, it means i'm startled and i agree with your opinion when i actually don't.

    when i seek for you to talk to, it means i want to express myself because i'm not good at holding things in.

    when i hug you from behind, it means i'm saying "i really like you" and i want to feel warmth (as creepy as it sounds)

    when i purposely saw you and didn't say hi to you, it means i don't like you.

    when i roll my eyes, it's either done sarcastically (oh you) or truthfully (geez)

    when i groan out loud, it means i'm depressed but i can't say it out because it's probably too personal.

    when i walk faster or engage in a convo with someone else after seeing you. it means i don't want to talk to you.

    when i walk out suddenly with no reason, it means i don't want to participate in any of this. either because i don't like the people or they're ignoring me.

    when i keep drinking water or looking up, it means i'm holding in my tears

    when i stutter, it means i'm trembling inside.

    when i'm quiet, it means i'm listening or either i don't know what to do.

    when i get mad at you, it means you're talking crap and total nonsense.

    when i suddenly laugh and hit you lightly with my hand, it means i'm trying to be friendly so please don't leave me hanging.

    when i squeal, it means i'm trying to be like connor franta (because his squeal is cute)

    when i buy clothes, i always go for either dan howell or troye sivan style (aka black and cool sweaters)


    // i had nothing to do so-
    // i got a kitty cat, but i honestly don't want to take care of it.
    Continue Reading

    "I go to seek a Great Perhaps."

    "I'd known plenty of people who made it a habit to hate this kind of person or that kind and it always seem like a big waste of time to me."

    "but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom."

    "listening quietly was my general social strategy."

    "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die."

    "Alyeska, it means 'that which the sea breaks against'."

    "thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."

    "what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person."

    "When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did."

    "If only we could see the endless string of consequences that results from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless."

    Review:
    - i personally loved the whole story. the twist, the mystery, the characters, and absolutely everything. it sucks you in so so bad. my favourite book so far.

    - i imagined troye sivan as pudge. perfect fit.

    - my favourite characters were alaska and takumi. "no one can catch the motherf*cking fox", one of my favourite quotes too.

    // i got a new book for my book quotes hip hip hooray.
    // next book: paper towns.
    Continue Reading
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    Juniper Chua

    21. Pharmacist in training. Who also has a passion for content creating. Read More

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