Well um. it's been a while.. i'm still alive. that's good. ok. hey.

Exam's are over. i'm sure i'm gonna fail but i get what i deserve for procrastinating. i'm not that down about my results like the others. unless it's important like the next three exams i'm going to take in a few month's time yikes.

i have succeeded two and a half of my resolutions out of seven. yeah not going so well. totally disobeyed my rules for the year too. easier said than done indeed. being in the first class can be stressful. everyone's smart and there are people who thirst for competition (weirdos). when i was in sc2, just simply studying could get me to the top ten. sc1 really is no joke. but i should probably drop off my attention on others and focus more on myself. i don't really want to compete with anyone in the class. by the way i'm scoring A's for me. not saying having competition is bad but i don't think i'm up for it yet.

i'm still on the journey to finding myself. i wish i had an identity. i have the hipster friend, the cute girl in school, the dreamer who talks about weird philosophies and the out-of-touch who doesn't care about anything but is cool anyway. i, too want to be something. connor franta said "it's not about finding yourself, it's about creating it". right now, i still don't know what i want to be. i want to be the grunge who takes artistic photos and talk suicidal not because it's cool, people might not believe me because my personality and grunge just don't fit. i have split personalities on the net and irl. internet me says grunge, irl me says plain normal nerdy teen who's only cool on the internet what a fake *rolls eye*. and then there's the other side of me saying i want to be that basic white tumblr girl who takes pictures of herself wearing tank tops and high-waisted shorts, cute rompers and dresses, friends, love, the fun at california beach.  the worst thing is that i have a friend who fits both of those things that i want which honestly makes me really sad and jealous.

i'm not the grunge who has the skinny body and wears all black all the time and knows how to skate and have my own cool gang who would wear all black with me. "you don't have to be skinny to be grunge", well skinny and grunge fit really well. i wish i lived in the 90's when fat was hot and i won't be so insecure about my body. besides that, i'd be a pretty unique grunge cause i can't even type or say f*ck and point the middle finger properly, i know i don't have to but you know. i'm stuck till i find out something.

another one of my thoughts shared out on the internet yay. simple as that.

anyways, the one-week holiday is coming soon so here's a list of the things i want to do and i'm blogging this for no specific reason:

1. design moon phase tank

2. update tumblr book

3. exercise (urrrrrrghhhhhhhh i swear this is not going to happen like every single time)

4. finish my book

5. go shopping or watch a movie alone or with friends (sam says she's planning so yeahaha)

6. take more cool pictures for my instagram (currently out of ideas)

mkay bye xx.

// i should do my homework.

// tbh i would be the full-time grunge if i had the ideal body. oh and $$$.

// my tumblr username changed to gawky-teen.tumblr.com. the last name was really manufactured.